Area 51
Address : 2b Whitworth Street West
Location : Manchester
SUBJECT: AREA51
GRID: N53°28’ 27.3” X W2°15’ 1.8”
DOB: 01>02>08
Is anybody out there?
Despite government denials, we can confirm that AREA51 will be crash landing very soon right in the heart of Manchester. Intense speculation and internet chatter has intensified since the curious and highly suspicious abduction of several renowned DJ’s and club events nationwide.
Experienced observers believe that the secret site is to be used as a testing facility for technically advanced dance music whose rationale is to target a highly classified, more perceptive clubber. Indeed, rumours of stealth style technology being present at this site have been corroborated by reliable witness reports that a notorious FUNKTION 1 agent has been observed making clandestine visits to this location.
A spokesman for a shadowy organisation named The Lone Gunman Good Clubbing Faction demanded that information of this project be declassified as a matter of urgency and issued the following statement: “If you are an electro sceptic, a techno disbeliever, a minimal tech doubter or a dirty–twisted house conspiracy theorist, then I would urge you to make your way to this location on Friday 1st February… as we believe this cover up will be exposed, and Manchester will be a better place for it …the proof is out there!”